Peter Gibbons: You're gonna lay off Samir and Michael?
Bob Slydell: Oh yeah, we're bring in some entry-level graduates, farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal.
Bob Porter: Standard operating procedure.
Peter Gibbons: Do they know this yet?
Bob Slydell: No. No, of course not. We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

[on the phone] And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...


Peter Gibbons: Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?
Joanna: Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register.
Peter Gibbons: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

We'll be getting rid of these people here... First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway. [laughs]

Bob Porter

[pounding steering wheel] Mother... shitter... Son of an... ass. I just...


Michael Bolton: You were supposed to come in Saturday. What were you doing?
Peter Gibbons: Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be.

[as Peter leaves to confess to Lumbergh] Peter... watch out for your cornhole, man.


[drunk, rapping] Back up in your ass with the resurrection!


Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.
Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted.

Michael Bolton: You think the pet rock was a really great idea?
Tom Smykowski: Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars.

Lawrence: Doesn't that chick look like Anne?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, a little bit...
Lawrence: Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. You two still goin' out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I guess... I don't know. Sometimes I get this feeling like she's cheating on me.
Lawrence: Yeah, I get that feeling too, man.
Peter Gibbons: What do you mean by that?
Lawrence: I don't know, man. I just get that feeling lookin' at her like she's the type of chick that just... buhhh.

Peter Gibbons: Look, I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you?
Samir: Yes, Peter, but I'm not going to do anything illegal.
Peter Gibbons: Samir, this is America.

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Office Space Quotes

Bill Lumbergh: Milton, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, mmmKay? [leaves]
Milton Waddams: Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...

[shouting through the wall] Hey Peter, man, check out Channel 9, it's the breast exam! Woo!


Office Space Review

For all the absurd and ridiculous Office Space quotes and characters, the real strength of this film is that anyone who's ever worked in...

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Rating: 4.1 / 5.0 (15 Votes)