Shaun: Hey guys, what's up?
Chad: Hey, what's up dude? Hey dude, check this out. Last night we're at this party, and little Arlo here,he decides to like confess his undying love to me. Did I tell ya he was a fruitcake or what?
Arlo: Bro, that's not true. This is the real story dude. Chad crashed at my house right, and I woke up in the night, he wa fondling my...
Chad: Dude, I lost my keys. I was looking for 'em.

Mr. Burke: Now, when I say "Romeo and Juliet," who comes to mind?
Dana: Claire Danes?
Mr. Burke: That's right, Claire Danes. Who else?
Chad: Leonardo DiCaprio.
Mr. Burke: Right. Who else? Well, you know someone else was involved in that movie who in some ways is as famous as Leonardo Di Caprio. And his name is William Shakespeare. And some great movies have been made based on his plays: Hamlet, West Side Story, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Waterworld, Gladiator, Chocolat...

Dude, I never went to college and check me out. I'm kick ass!

Lance

Shaun! I read your story. You used a lot of big words. Great! Good for you! It was a little long, so I didn't read the whole thing, but who cares 'cause I gave you an A!

Mr. Burke

Bud Brumder: You know your son was being a real brat today, a real pain in the ass.
Cindy: My son.
Bud Brumder: He said I was selfish. He said that everything's always about me.
Cindy: He called me a drama queen, said I was trying to sabotage him.

Bud Brumder: What is that smell? What am I sitting in?
Cindy: Relax. It's just urine.
Bud Brumder: Oh.

So I married Bob, for you! I had sex with Bob four times for you! So how can you call me a bad mother?

Cindy

You think you're going to create a T-shirt company? You can't even dress yourself!

Shaun

Shaun: What are you doing lying there?
Lance: Oh, my parole officer wants to give me a drug test and I need your urine... can I score some of your piss?
Shaun: Yeah.
Lance: Awesome, man.

[Exhales at his ex-wife] I need a drink. Do you have any beer, Coyote Ugly?

Bud Brumder

Shaun: Lance, I want you to stay in your room.
Lance: Why?
Shaun: Because you're an embarrassment.
Lance: OK!

SEAN! You're my same height, that is neat.

Don.Durkett

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Orange County Quotes

Do you want me to get naked and start the revolution?

Lance

Shaun: I have to go to college.
Cindy: Why?
Shaun: Because it's what you do after high school.