Bantam: America's greatest president.
Rand: It's me, Rand. Open up.
Bantam: America's greatest president.
Rand: Damn it. "Who is Ronald Reagan?"
Bantam: A casual shoe for yachting.
Rand: What are you trying to figure out, B.D.? Who could I be? "What is a blucher?"
Bantam: They killed Jesus Christ.
Rand: "Who are the Jews?" Open up, sucko.

Well, that's good thinking.


All right right, whaddya need? Bottle rockets, dental dams, Redi Wips, term papers?


Please have a party! Feed us drinks!


Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can't control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man's job!
President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn't provoked them, we wouldn't BE in this mess!
Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!

Rand: Hey, poor boy! Go and have all your parties with all your new friends! I can see it now, Andrews. You and all the knee-jerk, bleeding-heart liberals, sipping tea and playing patty-cake. And those useless hippie pot-heads, those commie-pinko leftists. The bunny huggers, the pillow biters...
Droz: Whoa! Whoa! Which ones are the pillow biters again?



Hey monkeys, how about a little respect. The presiding person of the university just walked in.


We need kegs. Multiple, cold and domestic.


Droz: Are we having a party tonight or what?
Cecilia: Well, there's no publicity, so there's no people; Gutter never showed up, so there's no beer; instruments just blew out, so there's no band; and I think Raji and Deege may be dead.
Droz: Wait a minute... no beer? Well, where the hell's Gutter?
Katy: Probably in a parking lot somewhere picking his nose.

Go to sleep! Why won't you just go to sleep!


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PCU Quotes

Womynist #1: Fine Sam. Why don't we forget about fighting the phalacracy for a while and go have a good time.
Samantha: Exactly.

Droz: What's Your major?
Sanskrit Major: Sanskrit
Droz: Sanskrit. You are majoring in a 5,000-year-old, dead language?
Sanskrit Major: Yeah.