MEAT TOSSER!

Moonbeam

Hey monkeys, how about a little respect. The presiding person of the university just walked in.

Droz

We need kegs. Multiple, cold and domestic.

Droz

President Garcia-Thompson: You passed out cigarettes for a smoke-a-thon on Earth Day. You installed speed bumps on the handicapped ramps and, most recently, you dumped 100 pounds of... MEAT on a peaceful vegan protest!
Droz: Oh, come on! That was way more than 100 pounds.

Go to sleep! Why won't you just go to sleep!

Droz

You're an idiot, don't you ever make me wait outside the door again!

Rand

Droz: Hi, is Sam in there?
Womynist #1: "In there" ... What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Womynist #2: Yeah, cock-man-oppressor!
Droz: Why, thank you. Could you just tell her that Mr. Pokey stopped by.

Droz: Ladies and gentlemen, I think it's time to revive an ancient tradition we seem to have long forgotten.
Cecilia: They confiscated the altar, Droz.
Droz: No, I'm not talking about human sacrifice, Ceel. I'm talking about something we used to do every Saturday night as a matter of principle. Here's a hint. Legions of hand-stamped meatheads... in coed naked lacrosse T-shirts... power-chugging watered-down Meisterchau... regurgitating on the glue-matted floors.
Mullaney: Kiln-like temperatures, fights with townies... lines of drunken people waiting for the bathroom.
Katy: Wait a second. You guys are talking about a party.
Droz: Ding-ding-ding. Gutter, tell her what's she's won.

Well, you call those useless, yerk toting, frisbee chucking cheeba monkeys and you tell them you're gonna be an hour late.

Droz

Jock: [at a party] What's up, babes?
Womynist #1: Pack up your rape culture and take a hike!
Jock: [holds up a beer] You want a brew dog?
Womynist #1: We're not interested in your penis!
Womynist #2: Wait, wait, I think he's offering us a beer.

Droz: Frog And Toad Are Friends, that's with the guy from The Clash, right?
Gutter: [confused] The...
Droz: The Clash. I don't know if you're aware of this, Gutter, but there actually was music recorded before 1989.

Pins and needles!

Pigman

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PCU Quotes

Katy: What about Naugahyde Windpipe?
Cecilia: Too metal.
Raji: Oedipus and the Mama's Boys.
Cecilia: Too college radio.
Deeje: My Johnson Is 12 Inches Long.
Cecilia: Interesting, but I don't think it's a band name.

Katy: Hey, Droz, how 'bout this: Tonight, at the Pit, "Everyone Gets Laid."
Droz: It's tasteless, disgusting, and offensive. I love it.