Andrew Beckett: What do you call a thousand lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?
Joe Miller: I don't know.
Andrew Beckett: A good start.

Librarian: Sir, wouldn't you be more comfortable in a study room?
Andrew Beckett: No. Would it make you more comfortable?

Now, explain it to me like I'm a four-year-old.

Joe Miller

[in court, to witness] Are you a homo? Are you a queer? Are you a faggot? Are you a fruit? Are you gay, sir?

Joe Miller

Andrew Beckett: That's their story. Wanna hear mine?
Joe Miller: How many lawyers did you go to before me?
Andrew Beckett: Nine.
Joe Miller: Go on.

The HIV virus can only be transmitted through the exchange of bodily fluids, namely blood, semen, and vaginal secretions.

Dr. Armbruster

Joe Miller: The Federal Vocational Rehabilitation Act of 1973 prohibits discrimination against otherwise qualified handicapped persons who are able to perform the duties required by their employment. Although the ruling did not address the specific issue of HIV and AIDS discrimination...
Andrew Beckett: Subsequent decisions have held that AIDS is protected as a handicap under law, not only because of the physical limitations it imposes, but because the prejudice surrounding AIDS exacts a social death which precede... which precedes the physical one.
Joe Miller: This is the essence of discrimination: formulating opinions about others not based on their individual merits, but rather on their membership in a group with assumed characteristics.

Forget everything you've seen on television and in the movies.

Joe Miller

We're standing here in Philadelphia, the, uh, city of brotherly love, the birthplace of freedom, where the, uh, founding fathers authored the Declaration of Independence, and I don't recall that glorious document saying anything about all straight men are created equal. I believe it says all men are created equal.

Joe Miller

Joe Miller: Have you ever felt discriminated against at Wyatt Wheeler?
Anthea Burton: Well, yes.
Joe Miller: In what way?
Anthea Burton: Well, Mr. Wheeler's secretary, Lydia, said that Mr. Wheeler had a problem with my earrings.
Joe Miller: Really?
Anthea Burton: Apparently Mr. Wheeler felt that they were too... "Ethnic" is the word she used. And she told me that he said that he would like it if I wore something a little less garish, a little smaller, and more "American."
Joe Miller: What'd you say?
Anthea Burton: I said my earrings are American. They're African-American.

Judge Garrett: In this courtroom, Mr. Miller, justice is blind to matters of race, creed, color, religion, and sexual orientation.
Joe Miller: With all due respect, your honor, we don't live in this courtroom, do we?

Joe Miller: What do you love about the law, Andrew?
Andrew Beckett: I... many things... uh... uh... What I love the most about the law?
Joe Miller: Yeah.
Andrew Beckett: It's that every now and again - not often, but occasionally - you get to be a part of justice being done. That really is quite a thrill when that happens.

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Philadelphia Quotes

Now, explain it to me like I'm a four-year-old.

Joe Miller

Librarian: Sir, wouldn't you be more comfortable in a study room?
Andrew Beckett: No. Would it make you more comfortable?