I used to use this gun when I was a prostitute.

Red

There's a fly in the ointment. Shit's hittin' the fan. The lion will speak!

Saul Silver

Today's my cat's birthday.

Red

[Dale and Saul are running and Dale sees Saul jump into a dumpster]
Dale Denton: Whoa, whoa! I gotta get to a phone man. Come on!
Saul: No, no! I think we should stay.
Dale Denton: Why?
Saul: [pause] Cause I'm in the dumpster already.

Saul: Man, why'd we have to go to the woods?
Dale Denton: Well you didn't come up with any ideas!
Saul: Yeah, I came up with two! Nowhere and Quizno's.

SaulSilver: You still got that bong I got you when I was in Tel Aviv?
Red: Hell yeah, Bong Mitzvah! Hit it up, dude!

It's almost a shame to smoke it. It's like killing a unicorn...with, like, a bomb.

Saul

I'm chill as a cucumber.

Dale Denton

Matheson: You know you gonna die, right?
Saul: Yeah.
Matheson: I'm gonna kill the fuck out of you! I hope you enjoy these last seventeen minutes of your life.

Dale Denton: I'm gonna get us out of here!
Saul Silver: No. You're not. But it's okay.

Police Liaison Officer: What the hell is that? What the hell is that?
Dale Denton: Oh, oh, it's a roach. It's a joint. I have anorexia. Honest I thought it was decriminalized.
Police Liaison Officer: Selling drugs to minors has *not* been decriminalized. I'm the police liaison officer with this school and I just saw a bunch of my kids comin' around the corner with their eyes as red as the devil's dick!

I feel like the nerd at the sleep-over that fell asleep at nine.

Red

FREE Movie Newsletter

Pineapple Express Quotes

Couscous - the food so nice they named it twice.

Dale Denton

Saul: No... I see. The monkey's out of the bottle now!
Dale Denton: What? That's not even.. a figure of speech.
Saul: Pandora can't go back into the box, he only comes out.

Pineapple Express Review

Pineapple Express would work better as a series of YouTube clips. There are a few funny moments - the first time Seth Rogen's character...

Read Review Editor Rating
  • 3.0 / 5.0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
User Rating

Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 (12 Votes)