
Pineapple Express Quotes
Red: [points to his armpits] You see this? There's no hair under here!
Dale Denton: What's the significance of that?
Red: It makes me aerodynamic, for fighting!
Dale Denton: Yeah but if you do bad stuff you're going to come back as something bad like a slug or an anal bead. But if you do something heroic then you'll come back as like an eagle or a dragon, or Jude Law. Now which would you rather be?
Red: The anal bead wouldn't be bad. I mean I guess it would depend on whose anal bead it was.
Dale Denton: It's *my* anal bead.
Today's my cat's birthday.
Red
Has anyone seen my bigger knife?
Ted Jones
[in Korean] Prepare to suck the cock of karma!
Ken
The car committed suicide.
Saul
Fuck the po-lice!
Saul
[Dale and Saul are running and Dale sees Saul jump into a dumpster]
Dale Denton: Whoa, whoa! I gotta get to a phone man. Come on!
Saul: No, no! I think we should stay.
Dale Denton: Why?
Saul: [pause] Cause I'm in the dumpster already.
I just got a shipment of Pineapple Express, the dopest dope I've ever smoked. Smellll it. It's like... God's vagina.
Saul
Dale Denton: How could he find us?
Saul: Umm, heat-seeking missiles, bloodhounds, foxes, barracudas.
Dale Denton: It's just... I'm kinda flabbergasted when you say things like that. It's weird.
Saul: Thank you.
Dale Denton: Not a compliment.