Sometimes it's a hard world for small things.

H.I.

Eight hundred leaf-tables and no chairs? You can't sell leaf-tables and no chairs. Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick!

Nathan Arizona Sr.

There's right and there's right and never the twain shall meet.

H.I.

Prison life is structured - more'n some people care for.

H.I.

Nathan Arizona Sr.: You want that $25,000 reward, you go ahead and claim it. What's there to talk about?
Leonard Smalls: Price. A fair price. That's not what you say it is, and it's not what I say it is... It's what the market will bear. Now there's people - and I know 'em - who'll pay a lot more than $25,000 for a healthy baby. Why, I myself fetched $30,000 on the black market. And that was 1954 dollars.

Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
H.I.: Someone oughta sell tickets.
Glen: Sure, I'd buy one.

Prison Counsellor: Why do you say you feel "trapped" in a man's body?
"Trapped" Convict: Well, sometimes I get them menstrual cramps real hard.

Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.

H.I.

Gale: You understand, H.I.? If this works out, it's just the beginning of a spree to cover the entire southwest proper. And we keep going until we can retire. Or we get caught.
Evelle: Either way, we're fixed for life.

Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go?
Teller's voices: We're down here, sir.
Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured havin' a critter was the next logical step.

H.I.

I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn't easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House. I dunno. They say he's a decent man, so maybe his advisors are confused.

H.I.

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Raising Arizona Quotes

[to baby] And this here's the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.

H.I.

Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.

H.I.