There's no "immunity" to bullets!

Jeff Spoder

Legalize it

Deputy Clementine Johnson

Reno is a lot like Mayberry on the TV except that everyone's on crystal meth and prostitution's legal.

Deputy Travis Junior

Deputy Travis Junior: I just had the weirdest dream
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: You know you're driving, right?
[hits a porto-potty]
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: [looking back] Noone was in it.

Your watch is stuck in my pubes.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel

I became a police officer because my doctor told me I needed to get out of the house more.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel

[after being tortured by weed whacker] Who brings a weed wacker on a boat?

Drug Lord's First Hostage

Can't you just give me a pitty fuck?

Deputy Trudy Wiegel

[repeated line] What the fuck, man?

Lieutenant Jim Dangle

I'm pooping!

Deputy Trudy Wiegel

You guys here for the suck-fest?

Motel Owner

This is the stupidest group of people I've ever worked with who are not legally retarded.

Lieutenant Jim Dangle

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Reno 911!: Miami Quotes

Deputy Travis Junior: I just had the weirdest dream
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: You know you're driving, right?
[hits a porto-potty]
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: [looking back] Noone was in it.

You guys here for the suck-fest?

Motel Owner