Ronnie: Suck it, "Reindeer Games"!
Danny: I'm not Ben Affleck.
Ronnie: You white, then you Ben Affleck.
Wheeler: You *are* white.
Danny: That's true, I am white.

I bet if I asked him to play a game of Quidditch he'd cum himself.

Danny

Wheeler: [sits down] What up, Ronnie?
Ronnie: I don't wanna take my pants off!
Wheeler: [stunned] What?

Danny: No, no. It's not a cow. It's a a minotaur. It's a creature of myth. And he got this one out of your mom's closet.
Wheeler: She let me keep it after I fucked her.

Danny: Can I get a large black coffee?
Barista: A what?
Danny: Large black coffee.
Barista: Do you mean a venti?
Danny: No, I mean a large.
Barista: Venti is large.
Danny: No venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact tall is large and grande is spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesn't mean large. It's also the only one that's italian. Congratulations you're stupid in three languages.
Barista: A venti is a large coffee.
Danny: Really says who: Fellini? Do you accept lira or is it all euros now?

I'm not here to service you, I'm here to service these young boys.

Gayle Sweeny

Danny: Pick us up in two hours.
Ronnie: Fuck you, Miss Daisy.

Me and the judge have a special relationship... I don't wanna get too graphic but I sucked his dick for drugs.

Gayle Sweeny

[while urinating neon green liquid] Jeez, it's like Shrek's piss.

Danny

Why don't you lay out two lines of your selfishness, which is your blow, draw the shades, take the phone off the hook, grab a straw, and snort!

Gayle Sweeny

I'm in a rut, we're in a rut. Let's shape things up. I have an idea, let's get married! I don't have a ring...

Danny

Gayle Sweeny: Watch your language, Ronnie.
Ronnie Shields: My language is English and this mother fucker tried to grab my junk.

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Role Models Quotes

Danny: Can I get a large black coffee?
Barista: A what?
Danny: Large black coffee.
Barista: Do you mean a venti?
Danny: No, I mean a large.
Barista: Venti is large.
Danny: No venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact tall is large and grande is spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesn't mean large. It's also the only one that's italian. Congratulations you're stupid in three languages.
Barista: A venti is a large coffee.
Danny: Really says who: Fellini? Do you accept lira or is it all euros now?

Ronnie: Suck it, "Reindeer Games"!
Danny: I'm not Ben Affleck.
Ronnie: You white, then you Ben Affleck.
Wheeler: You *are* white.
Danny: That's true, I am white.

Role Models Review

In the interest of full disclosure: we love Paul Rudd. A lot. Dude seriously makes us laugh. So we were attracted to Role Models before...

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Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 (6 Votes)