You sexy like a chocolate strawberry.

Wheeler

Ronnie: Suck it, "Reindeer Games"!
Danny: I'm not Ben Affleck.
Ronnie: You white, then you Ben Affleck.
Wheeler: You *are* white.
Danny: That's true, I am white.

[while urinating neon green liquid] Jeez, it's like Shrek's piss.

Danny

I bet if I asked him to play a game of Quidditch he'd cum himself.

Danny

Me and the judge have a special relationship... I don't wanna get too graphic but I sucked his dick for drugs.

Gayle Sweeny

I've heard of popcorn in the face, but this is ridiculous!

Martin Gary

Gayle Sweeny: Watch your language, Ronnie.
Ronnie Shields: My language is English and this mother fucker tried to grab my junk.

Gayle Sweeny: Did Wheeler ever expose himself to you?
Ronnie: Hell, no!

Wheeler: I don't have crabs! What have you been telling these kids?
Ronnie: That you have crabs.

Danny: No, no. It's not a cow. It's a a minotaur. It's a creature of myth. And he got this one out of your mom's closet.
Wheeler: She let me keep it after I fucked her.

Why don't you lay out two lines of your selfishness, which is your blow, draw the shades, take the phone off the hook, grab a straw, and snort!

Gayle Sweeny

Danny: Man, why do you bow for that guy?
Augie Farks: Because he's the king, and he rules the entire realm.
Danny: Oh he rules the entire realm? Oh my bad.
Danny: Is that when he is or isn't whacking it to The Sims?

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Role Models Quotes

Gayle Sweeny: Watch your language, Ronnie.
Ronnie Shields: My language is English and this mother fucker tried to grab my junk.

Ronnie: Suck it, "Reindeer Games"!
Danny: I'm not Ben Affleck.
Ronnie: You white, then you Ben Affleck.
Wheeler: You *are* white.
Danny: That's true, I am white.

Role Models Review

In the interest of full disclosure: we love Paul Rudd. A lot. Dude seriously makes us laugh. So we were attracted to Role Models before...

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Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 (6 Votes)