That was the second most disgusting fluid I've ever had in my eye.

Gordon

Whit: I actually ran the London Marathon
Dennis: Oh that's a coincidence.
Whit: Why's that?
Dennis: Oh, I watched it on the tele... well... the last hour... I sleep in on Sundays.

Gordon: Hey I've got you those tickets you wanted...
Dennis: They were for yesterday!
Gordon: Oh so NOW you don't want them?
Dennis: Why would I want them?
Gordon: You could... sell them on e-bay.
Dennis: Who would buy tickets for an event which happened yesterday?
Gordon: ...Time Travellers.

The only serious relationship I've been in ended in a broken collarbone and a dead meerkat.

Gordon

Libby: You can't even finish your sentence!
Dennis: Oh... don't... don't... don't be... what's the word?
Old Lady: Prick.
[in the English version: "Cock."]

Dennis: Excuse me, can I just stop you there.
Whit: Yes...?
Dennis: Oh, I don't have anything to say... I just wanted to stop you there.

Gordon: Go on then, run!
Dennis: Isn't there some kind of like... special technique?
Gordon: Well... yeah... you put one leg in front of the other over and over again really really fast.

Dennis: I went for a bit of a run this morning and I think I've got a bit of a... rash...
[indicates downwards]
Shop Worker: Yes...
Dennis: Y'know... Down in the...
Shop Worker: [agitated] Yes, yes, I understand.
Dennis: Scrotal Zone.

Maya: I saw your friend Gordon this morning
Dennis: I'll replace anything he stole.

Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: I've got a surprise for you!
Dennis: Oh!... it's not a spatula is it?

Gordon: I got you a present
Libby: Aww thanks
Gordon: It's a CD, I hope you haven't got it. Because I don't have a receipt and I didn't exactly buy it.

Man in Bakery: I would settle for something shaped like a fish.
Dennis: Go to a fishmonger!
Man in Bakery: I'm a vegetarian.

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Run Fatboy Run Quotes

Whit: I actually ran the London Marathon
Dennis: Oh that's a coincidence.
Whit: Why's that?
Dennis: Oh, I watched it on the tele... well... the last hour... I sleep in on Sundays.

Undercover Officer: You want your son to love you? Don't break the law!
Dennis: Hey! That's entrapment!
[gets pushed to the ground]
Dennis: And that's brutality!