Herman Blume: Indefinitely. I'm being sued for divorce.
Concierge: Very good sir.

[to Dr. Peter] I was punched in the face. What's your excuse?

Max Fischer

[to Rosemary] We both have dead people in our families.

Max Fischer

[to Max] I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I threw rocks at you that day.

Dirk Calloway

Kids don't like it when their parents get divorced.

Herman Blume

[to Max] She's in love with a dead guy anyway.

Herman Blume

Rosemary Cross: That's none of your business.
Max Fischer: I know it's not, but I just got hit my a car and I'm feeling a little confused.

Rosemary Cross: I'll show you the door.
Max Fischer: I'll just go back out the window.

Dr. Peter Flynn: I didn't know we were going to dinner.
Max Fischer: Well, that's because you weren't invited.

[to Rosemary] I'm sorry, I just came by to thank you for WRECKING MY LIFE!

Max Fischer

112 pounds. Black hair. Glasses... Oval face.

Herman Blume

[to Herman] Are you fond of that moustache?

Bert Fischer

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Rushmore Quotes

[to Dr. Peter] I was punched in the face. What's your excuse?

Max Fischer

Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: O, R they?