Rosemary Cross: I'm just having a little snack
Herman Blume: What'd you got there... carrots?

[to Max] I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I threw rocks at you that day.

Dirk Calloway

Rosemary Cross: How did I hurt your feelings?
Max Fischer: Oh, my God! I wrote a hit play!

Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: O, R they?

Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays. I should probably be trying harder to score chicks.

Max Fischer

Herman Blume: What's the secret, Max?
Max Fischer: The secret?
Herman Blume: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out.
Max Fischer: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore.

Herman Blume: You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and your going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.

Max Fischer: So you were in Vietnam?
Herman Blume: Yeah.
Max Fischer: Were you in the shit?
Herman Blume: Yeah, I was in the shit.

Max Fischer: What do you call getting a handjob from Mrs. Calloway in the back of her Jaguar?
Magnus Buchan: A fucking lie.
Max Fischer: You think I got kicked out because of just the aquarium? Nah, it was the handjob. And you know what else? It was worth it.

Max Fischer: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future.
Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship.
Max Fischer: But we're friends.
Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're *going* to be. Well, yes...
Max Fischer: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?

I know about you and the teacher.

Dirk Calloway

My top schools where I want to apply to are Oxford and the Sorbonne. My safety's Harvard.

Max Fischer
Wes Anderson's Rushomre is considered a classic. It features Bill Murray and Jason Schwarzman fighting over the same woman!

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Rushmore Quotes

Dear Max, I am sorry to say that I have secretly found out that Mr. Blume is having an affair with Miss Cross. My first suspicions came when I saw them Frenching in front of our house. And then I knew for sure when they went skinny dipping in Mr. Blume's swimming pool, giving each other handjobs while you were taking a nap on the front porch.

Dirk Calloway

Rosemary Cross: Is this fake blood?
Max Fischer: Yes, it is.