Ernie: What kind of fish?
Max Fischer: Barracuda, stingrays, electric eels, trout, hammerheads, piranha, giant squid, octopi...
Herman Blume: Piranhas? Really?
Max Fischer: Yes, I'm talking to a guy in South America.

Max Fischer: So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross?
Dr. Peter Flynn: We went to Harvard together.
Max Fischer: Oh that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I'm not sweating it either.

Max Fischer: How the hell did you get so rich? You're a quitter, man!
Herman Blume: I spent eight million dollars on this.
Max Fischer: And is that all you're willing to spend?

I saved Latin. What did you ever do?

Max Fischer

Herman Blume: She's my Rushmore.
Max Fischer: I know. She was mine too.

Mmm, I'm a little bit lonely these days.

Herman Blume

It's Snowman! Take him!

Dirk Calloway

There's action across the street.

Dirk Calloway

Oh yeah and with friends like you who needs friends?

Dirk Calloway

Max Fischer: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future.
Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship.
Max Fischer: But we're friends.
Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're *going* to be. Well, yes...
Max Fischer: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?

Max Fischer: So you were in Vietnam?
Herman Blume: Yeah.
Max Fischer: Were you in the shit?
Herman Blume: Yeah, I was in the shit.

Max Fischer: What do you call getting a handjob from Mrs. Calloway in the back of her Jaguar?
Magnus Buchan: A fucking lie.
Max Fischer: You think I got kicked out because of just the aquarium? Nah, it was the handjob. And you know what else? It was worth it.

FREE Movie Newsletter

Rushmore Quotes

[to Dr. Peter] I was punched in the face. What's your excuse?

Max Fischer

Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: O, R they?