[to Wayne] There is no right girl for you! And if you've already met her, she's probably either killed herself, or become a lesbian.

Judith

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Judith: I don't want your shitty old house or your dead grandmother.
Wayne: I'll throw J.D. in. He doesn't look like much but girls call him the human power drill.
J.D.: It's true!

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Don't make me take away your masturbation privileges!

Judith

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J.D.: [bringing a box of videos to Judith] Hey, I brought you some more videos. You've got your choice: porno's or monster trucks. Oh, and I got one that's both.

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