J.D.: Die, replacement-friends!
Wayne: Eat this, Fake Wayne!

Coach Norton: By the way, did you boys take care of that bitch that was gonna marry Silverman?
Wayne: Uhh yeah, yeah we snuffed that broad just like ya said
Coach Norton: Good, how'd ya do it?
Wayne: We um...
J.D.: Ate her...
Coach Norton: You ate her?
Wayne: Yea, we ate her
J.D.: Alive
Coach Norton: My hat goes off to you, you boys are smart, that's the perfect crime.

Wayne: So Darren tells me you're a psychologist.
Judith: That's right.
Wayne: I'm in a related field.
Judith: Really? What is it?
Wayne: Pest and rodent removal.
Judith: How is that related?
Wayne: We both help people.

Don't make me take away your masturbation privileges!


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Saving Silverman Quotes

J.D.: [bringing a box of videos to Judith] Hey, I brought you some more videos. You've got your choice: porno's or monster trucks. Oh, and I got one that's both.

Wayne: So, Coach, how's your parole coming?
Coach Norton: Not good. The victim's whiny family keeps complaining
J.D.: God! What is their PROBLEM?