Don't shrug, imbecile. I'm blind. Save your body language for the bimbi.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade

It's a great day for singing a song / It's a great day for moving along / It's a great day for morning to night / It's a great day for everybody's plight.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: [Randy brings Frank a glass of whiskey] Thank you Randy. You still with Snowqueen Sugar?
Randy: Snowflake. How come you always get that wrong?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Because it's not important for me to get it right.

Can't believe they're my blood. I.Q. of sloths and the manners of banshees. He's a mechanic, she's a homemaker. He knows as much about cars as a beauty queen, and she bakes cookies, taste like wing nuts. As for the tots, they're twits.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade

[Slade knew her face cleanser, by scent]
Donna: Ah, that's amazing.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Well, I'm in the amazing business.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: How's your skin, son?
Charlie Simms: My skin, sir?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Oh, for Christ's sake.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: [Frank plans to kill himself and Charlie as well but hesitates] You don't wanna die.
Charlie Simms: Neither do you.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Give me one good reason not to.
Charlie Simms: I'll give you two. You can dance the tango and drive a Ferrari better than anyone I've ever seen.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: You never seen anyone do either.

You sharpshootin' me, punk? Is that what you're doin'? Don't you sharpshoot me! You'll give me forty. Then you're gonna give me forty more. Then you're gonna pull K.P., the grease pit! I'll rub your NOSE in enlisted men's CRUD till you don't know WHICH END IS UP! YOU UNDERSTAND?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Your father pedals car telephones at a 300 percent markup. Your mother works on heavy commission at a camera store. Graduated to it from espresso machines. Hah!
[pause]
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: What are you, dying of some wasting disease?
Charlie Simms: No, I'm right - I'm right here.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: I know exactly where your body is. What I'm looking for is some indication of a brain. Too much football without a helmet? Hah! Lyndon's line on Gerry Ford. Deputy debriefer, Paris, peace talks, '68. Snagged a silver star and a silver bar. Threw me into G-2.
Charlie Simms: G-2?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Intelligence. Of which you have none.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: [at Charlie's disciplinary hearing] This is such a croc of shit!
Mr. Trask: Mr. Slade, you are in the Baird School. Not a barracks.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: I don't know if Charlie's silence here today is right or wrong; I'm not a judge or jury. But I can tell you this: he won't sell anybody out to buy his future!

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Haven't you heard? CONSCIENCE is daihed.
Charlie Simms: No, I haven't heard.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Well, then, take the fuckin' WAX outta your ears! GROW UP! It's fuck your buddy. Cheat on your wife. Call your mother on Mother's Day. Charlie, it's all shit.

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Scent of a Woman Quotes

[Slade knew her face cleanser, by scent]
Donna: Ah, that's amazing.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Well, I'm in the amazing business.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Oh, uh, Charlie - about your little problem - there are two kinds of people in this world: those who stand up and face the music, and those who run for cover. Cover is better.