Lt. Col. Frank Slade: How's your skin, son?
Charlie Simms: My skin, sir?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Oh, for Christ's sake.

Touch me again, I'll kill ya, you little son-of-a-bitch! I touch you. Understand?

Lt. Col. Frank Slade

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Clear them little bottles off. And when I get off the phone here, call up Hyman and tell him I want it wall to wall with John Daniels.
Charlie Simms: Don't you mean Jack Daniels?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: He may be Jack to you son, but when you've known him as long as I have... that's a joke.

Randy: You wanta know the truth?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: You got a handle on that, do you, Randy?
Randy: He was an asshole before.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Whoo-ah!
Randy: Now all he is is a blind asshole.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Whoo-ah.
Randy: Hey, God's a funny guy.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: God doth have a sense of humor.
Randy: Maybe God thinks some people don't deserve to see.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Whoo-ah. Hah!

Randy: [Frank and Charlie have arrived unexpected at Frank's brother's house for Thanksgiving. Randy opens the door and changes from having a smile to having a frown on his face when he sees Frank] Yes?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Yes! Who is this?
Randy: It's Randy.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Randy? You new?
Randy: I'm your nephew.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Hah! Here I am. Your sister's been hoarding me long enough thought it's time to spread the riches around.
Gail: [Comes around the door] Uncle Frank.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Gloria.
Gail: [upset at having to correct him] Gail.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Of course.
[enters into the house]
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Say "hello" to the potluck party from New York City. Good ol' Uncle Frank and this here with him is Charlie Simms, star halfback of the Baird School football team. They not only beat Exeter and Grotin this year, but Aquinas High School too.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Then, I'm going to lie down on my big beautiful bed, and blow my brains out.
Charlie Simms: Did I hear you right, colonel? You said you're going to kill yourself?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: No. I said I'm going to blow my brains out.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Are you blind? Are you blind?
Charlie Simms: Of course not.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Then why do you keep grabbing my goddamn arm? I take your arm.
Charlie Simms: I'm sorry.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Don't be sorry. How would you know? You've been watching MTV all your life.

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Scent of a Woman Quotes

[Slade knew her face cleanser, by scent]
Donna: Ah, that's amazing.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Well, I'm in the amazing business.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Oh, uh, Charlie - about your little problem - there are two kinds of people in this world: those who stand up and face the music, and those who run for cover. Cover is better.