No refunds, consider your refund escaping this death trap with your lives!

Jackie Moon

Jackie Moon: In the anals of history people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.

ELE! Everybody love everybody!

Jackie Moon

Suck my cock! I'll kill your family!

Jackie Moon

Damnit, Vakidis! Learn fucking English!

Jackie Moon

Jackie Moon: There'll be a lotta television cameras out there so we just gotta be tip top.
Clarence 'Coffee' Black: So what's the plan?
Jackie Moon: Brought a secret weapon. It's going to make us look extra cool on Tv.
Bee Bee Ellis: What the hell is that?
Jackie Moon: It's eyeliner dummy. Now who's first? Monix?
Monix: Oh yeah... Let me get a fresh Maxi-Pad outta my purse.

Lynn: You think I've forgotten that you cheated on me twice?
Monix: I only cheated on you once. There just had to be two women.

Who the fuck is Bambi?

Clarence 'Coffee' Black

If you see an opposum, kill it. It’s not a pet.

Jackie Moon

It feels like I got cat piss in my eyes.

Jackie Moon

Cover your sodas! Dewey loves sugar!

Jackie Moon

It's like the Titanic but with bears!

Jackie Moon

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Semi-Pro Quotes

Who the fuck is Bambi?

Clarence 'Coffee' Black

Everybody panic! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love tender meat.

Jackie Moon