If you see an opposum, kill it. It’s not a pet.

Jackie Moon

Damnit, Vakidis! Learn fucking English!

Jackie Moon

Jackie Moon: In the anals of history people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.

It feels like I got cat piss in my eyes.

Jackie Moon

Suck my cock! I'll kill your family!

Jackie Moon

It's like the Titanic but with bears!

Jackie Moon

Everybody panic! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love tender meat.

Jackie Moon

Who the fuck is Bambi?

Clarence 'Coffee' Black

Jackie Moon: There'll be a lotta television cameras out there so we just gotta be tip top.
Clarence 'Coffee' Black: So what's the plan?
Jackie Moon: Brought a secret weapon. It's going to make us look extra cool on Tv.
Bee Bee Ellis: What the hell is that?
Jackie Moon: It's eyeliner dummy. Now who's first? Monix?
Monix: Oh yeah... Let me get a fresh Maxi-Pad outta my purse.

ELE! Everybody love everybody!

Jackie Moon

Dick Pepperfield: Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette?
Lou Redwood: No. I like to smoke when I drink.

No refunds, consider your refund escaping this death trap with your lives!

Jackie Moon

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Semi-Pro Quotes

Who the fuck is Bambi?

Clarence 'Coffee' Black

Everybody panic! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love tender meat.

Jackie Moon