Mauricio: The thing is all the women he's been seeing are ugly.
Tony Robbins: Who says they're ugly?
Mauricio: Bausch & Lomb.

She's got CANKLES!

Mauricio

Hal: There's Rosemary.
Mauricio: Where?
Hal: Right there!
Mauricio: Is she behind the Rhino?

[after introducing his overweight girlfriend to Mauricio]
Hal: Does she take the cake, or what?
Mauricio: She takes the whole bakery, Hal.

Tony Robbins: Haven't you ever heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
Mauricio: Have you heard the song "Who Let The Dogs Out"?

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Shallow Hal Quotes

[after introducing his overweight girlfriend to Mauricio]
Hal: Does she take the cake, or what?
Mauricio: She takes the whole bakery, Hal.

Tony Robbins: Haven't you ever heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
Mauricio: Have you heard the song "Who Let The Dogs Out"?