[Looking at the bullet holes in his robe] It's a miracle. I am invincible. Roy! Invincible!

Roy O'Bannon

Roy O'Bannon: First time you ever see an outlaw?
[Pretty victim nods]
Roy O'Bannon: Scared? Kind of excited, too? All mixed up? Yeah. Last train we robbed we were naked it was so hot out.

This is the West, not the East. The sun may rise where we come from... but here is where it sets.

Chon Wang

Let me put it this way. My horse is definitely not my best friend.

Roy O'Bannon

I don't know Karate but I do know crazy, and I will use it.

Roy O'Bannon

Don't worry, it could be worse - he could be a white guy.

Medicine Man

Chon Wang: What happened my horse? Is he dead?
Roy O'Bannon: No, but we are, Chon.

Chon Wang: See! I told you so!
Roy O'Bannon: No, you said "wet shirt don't break," not "piss shirt bend bar"!

Chon Wang: He took the gold.
Roy O'Bannon: Is that all you care about, the gold? Shame on you.

How about that? It's a Mexican standoff. Only we ain't got no Mexicans.

Marshal Nathan Van Cleef

Chon Wang: I got an idea: why don't I pretend I'm sick, and then you can attack the guard when they come in?
Roy O'Bannon: Oh, you mean the sick person routine? Does that still work in China? 'Cause here it's sorta been done to death.

Chon Wang: What happened?
Roy O'Bannon: Oh nothing I just killed him, how'd you do?

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Shanghai Noon Quotes

How about that? It's a Mexican standoff. Only we ain't got no Mexicans.

Marshal Nathan Van Cleef

Roy O'Bannon: Ooooh... who's the pretty lady?
Chon Wang: That's my wife!
Roy O'Bannon: How long you been in this country?
Chon Wang: Four days.
Roy O'Bannon: Nice work.

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