Ed: See? You don't need Liz to have a good time.
Shaun: Oh, don't, man.
Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with clichÈs. But what I will say is this?
[chuckling]
Ed: It's not the end of the world.

Shaun: Who the hell put this on?
Ed: It's on random.
Liz: For fuck's sake!

Barbara: My, how you've grown!
Ed: Yeah, you'd better believe it.

Shaun: [in concerned tone] Mum, have you been bitten?
Barbara: No, but Philip has.
Shaun: Oh, OK.
Ed: [concerned] Has she been bitten?
Shaun: No, but Phillip has.
Ed: Oh, OK.

Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!

Ed: Big Al says so.
Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?

Ed

David: I'm not staying here.
Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.
Ed: I think he should go.

Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!
Shaun: FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!

Barbara: [Over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.
Shaun: Well are they still there?
Barbara: [Over the phone] I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains.

Ed, this is serious!

He's not my Dad, he's my stepdad!

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Shaun of the Dead Quotes

Ed: Big Al says so.
Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!

Shaun: Don't point that gun at my mum!
Ed: Don't point that gun at Barbara!