Liz: It's just that with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates out, and then that only exacerbates things.
Shaun: What you mean?
Liz: Well, you guys hardly get on, do you?
Shaun: No... what does 'exacerbate' mean?

David: You still haven't met his mum?
Shaun: Not yet!
Philip: Don't you get on with your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: It's not that I don't get on with her...
David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: No! I love my mum!
Ed: I love his mum too.
Shaun: Ed!
Ed: [singing] She's like butter!
Shaun: Ed!

Liz: You left them at my place.
Shaun: Yeah, in the bin!
Liz: I was desperate.
Shaun: Sneaky monkey...

Ed: Whoa, mama!
Shaun: Christ! What the hell do you think you're doing?
Ed: Chill out. Everyone's all right.
Shaun: Stop telling me to chill out!

Look, I don't care what the telly says, all right? We *have* to get out of here. If we don't they'll tear us to pieces, and that is really going to exacerbate things for all of us.

Shaun: David, kill the Queen!
David: What?
Shaun: The jukebox!

Liz: You hang out with my friends? Sorry, a failed actress and a twat?
Shaun: Well, that's a bit harsh.
Liz: Your words!
Shaun: I did NOT call Dianne a failed actress!

Shaun: Pete!
Shaun: Pete!
Shaun: Maybe he's not here.
Ed: Hey prick!

Cock it!

Ed

Ed: You gonna thank me then?
Shaun: For what?
Ed: Tidying up!
Shaun: Doesn't look that tidy.
Ed: Well, I had a few beers when I finished.

As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he was talking about.

Ed: Do you want your messages?
Shaun: What?
Ed: Well, your mum rang about you going around tomorrow night, and then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.
Shaun: *What*?

FREE Movie Newsletter

Shaun of the Dead Quotes

Ed: Big Al says so.
Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!

Shaun: Don't point that gun at my mum!
Ed: Don't point that gun at Barbara!