Shaun: Who the hell put this on?
Ed: It's on random.
Liz: For fuck's sake!

As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he was talking about.

Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!
Shaun: FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!

Shaun: [in concerned tone] Mum, have you been bitten?
Barbara: No, but Philip has.
Shaun: Oh, OK.
Ed: [concerned] Has she been bitten?
Shaun: No, but Phillip has.
Ed: Oh, OK.

David: I'm not staying here.
Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.
Ed: I think he should go.

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?

Ed

Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!

He's not my Dad, he's my stepdad!

Ed, this is serious!

Barbara: [Over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.
Shaun: Well are they still there?
Barbara: [Over the phone] I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains.

[after Shaun hits zombie with butt of rifle] Why didn't you just shoot him?

Ed

Shaun: [hands Liz flowers] Got you these.
Liz: [Liz reads label] "To a wonderful mum"?
Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that's, because... I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y'know, don't wanna be my mum and that. It's just a little joke, just sort of spur of the moment...
Liz: [long pause] They're for your mum, aren't they?
Shaun: Yeah.
Liz: Smooth.

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Shaun of the Dead Quotes

Look, I don't care what the telly says, all right? We *have* to get out of here. If we don't they'll tear us to pieces, and that is really going to exacerbate things for all of us.

Shaun

Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!
Shaun: FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!