Ed, this is serious!

Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!

He's not my Dad, he's my stepdad!

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?

Ed

David: I'm not staying here.
Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.
Ed: I think he should go.

Shaun: [in concerned tone] Mum, have you been bitten?
Barbara: No, but Philip has.
Shaun: Oh, OK.
Ed: [concerned] Has she been bitten?
Shaun: No, but Phillip has.
Ed: Oh, OK.

[after Shaun hits zombie with butt of rifle] Why didn't you just shoot him?

Ed

Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!
Shaun: FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!

Shaun: Don't point that gun at my mum!
Ed: Don't point that gun at Barbara!

Shaun: It's not that I don't wanna spend time with you, cause I do. It's just... Ed doesn't have too many friends.
Ed: Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?

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Shaun of the Dead Quotes

As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he was talking about.

Shaun

Shaun: David, kill the Queen!
David: What?
Shaun: The jukebox!