Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?


King: So I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be...
Shrek: Ogres! Yes!
Queen: Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
King: Oh, no, no. Of course not! That's assuming you don't eat your own young.
Princess Fiona: Dad!
Shrek: Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who have been locked away in the tower.
Princess Fiona: Shrek, please!
King: I only did that because I love her!
Shrek: Oh, yeah! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle!

Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What the hell is a piñata, anyway?

Aww, look at him, in his wee lil' boots! I mean, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?

I say we take the sword and neuter him right here! Give him the Bob Barker treatment!


Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you, unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.


[to Puss] If we ever need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.


Shrek: Do you still know the Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: Yes, he's down on Drury Lane. Why?
Shrek: Because we're going to need flour. Lots and lots of flour.

I want what any princess wants - to live happily ever after... with the *ogre* I married.

Princess Fiona

I told you ogres don't live happily ever after!

Fairy Godmother

King: [Donkey sits at the table] No, no! Bad donkey! Bad, bad donkey!
Princess Fiona: It's okay, dad. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the tower.
Donkey: Yup, that's me, the noble steed. Hey waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed?

Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!


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Shrek 2 Quotes

I'm a real boy!


Hey, boss. Let's shave him.