I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted! And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried and smothered in chocolate...

Fairy Godmother

Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?

Puss-in-Boots

King: So I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be...
Shrek: Ogres! Yes!
Queen: Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
King: Oh, no, no. Of course not! That's assuming you don't eat your own young.
Princess Fiona: Dad!
Shrek: Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who have been locked away in the tower.
Princess Fiona: Shrek, please!
King: I only did that because I love her!
Shrek: Oh, yeah! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle!

Aww, look at him, in his wee lil' boots! I mean, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?

I say we take the sword and neuter him right here! Give him the Bob Barker treatment!

Donkey

[to Puss] If we ever need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.

Donkey

Shrek: Do you still know the Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: Yes, he's down on Drury Lane. Why?
Shrek: Because we're going to need flour. Lots and lots of flour.

I want what any princess wants - to live happily ever after... with the *ogre* I married.

Princess Fiona

I told you ogres don't live happily ever after!

Fairy Godmother

King: [Donkey sits at the table] No, no! Bad donkey! Bad, bad donkey!
Princess Fiona: It's okay, dad. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the tower.
Donkey: Yup, that's me, the noble steed. Hey waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed?

Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me!

Fairy Godmother

Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!

Donkey

FREE Movie Newsletter

Shrek 2 Quotes

I'm a real boy!

Pinocchio

Hey, boss. Let's shave him.

Puss-in-Boots