King: [Donkey sits at the table] No, no! Bad donkey! Bad, bad donkey!
Princess Fiona: It's okay, dad. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the tower.
Donkey: Yup, that's me, the noble steed. Hey waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed?

Puss-in-Boots: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club. We got jackets.

Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!

Donkey

[running ahead of giant gingerbread man] Run, run as fast as you can!

Donkey

[trying to convince Shrek not to neuter him] Please, no, por favor, por favor, please no, I implore you. I was doing it for my family! My mother she's sick and my father he lives off the garbage. The king offered me much money and I have a little brother...

Puss-in-Boots

Donkey: I don't wanna die...! I don't wanna DIE! Oh sweet sister mother of mercy... I'm melting...! I'm MEEELTIIING!
Shrek: It's just the rain, Donkey.

I hate Mondays.

Puss-in-Boots

I'm a real boy!

Pinocchio

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Shrek 2 Quotes

I want what any princess wants - to live happily ever after... with the *ogre* I married.

Princess Fiona

Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What the hell is a piñata, anyway?