Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you, unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.

Shrek

I say we take the sword and neuter him right here! Give him the Bob Barker treatment!

Donkey

Aww, look at him, in his wee lil' boots! I mean, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?

Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What the hell is a piñata, anyway?

King: So I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be...
Shrek: Ogres! Yes!
Queen: Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
King: Oh, no, no. Of course not! That's assuming you don't eat your own young.
Princess Fiona: Dad!
Shrek: Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who have been locked away in the tower.
Princess Fiona: Shrek, please!
King: I only did that because I love her!
Shrek: Oh, yeah! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle!

Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?

Puss-in-Boots

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted! And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried and smothered in chocolate...

Fairy Godmother

Donkey: Wat about my Miranda rights?You're supposed to say "You have the right to remain silent!". Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!
Shrek: Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack, is the capacity.

[to Puss-in-Boots] I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been filled.

Donkey

Princess Fiona: Is that glitter on your lips?
Prince Charming: Yes, cherry flavored. Want a taste?

Shrek: So, Fiona's father paid you to do this?
Puss-in-Boots: Oh, the rich king? Sí.

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!

Gingerbread Man

FREE Movie Newsletter

Shrek 2 Quotes

I'm a real boy!

Pinocchio

Hey, boss. Let's shave him.

Puss-in-Boots