Favorite Shrek Quotes
Pinocchio: I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.
Captain of Guards: Five schillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!Donkey
Shrek: Well it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
The Donkey: Wow, only a true friend would be that truely honest.
Donkey: Whoa. Look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
Shrek: That would be my home.
Donkey: Oh and it is LOVELY. You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.
Donkey: You, uh... you don't entertain much, do you?
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence...
[big awkward silence ensues]
Donkey: ... Can I stay with you?
Oh, no no no no. Dead broad off the table.
He hooffed und he poooffed und he... signed an eviction notice.Little Pig
Lord Farquaad: Tell me where are the others.
Gingerbread Man: Eat me.
Lord Farquaad: Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall / Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?
Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king.
Lord Farquaad: Thelonius?
Magic Mirror: [nervous] Er, I mean you're not a king yet.
[about Snow White] Although she lives with seven other men, she's actually not easy.Magic Mirror
[looking at the huge castle] Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?
Donkey: Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad'll give you back your swamp, which you only don't have 'cos he filled it full of freaks in the first place, is that about right?