Jonah Baldwin: If you get a new wife, I guess you'll get to have sex with her, huh?
Sam Baldwin: I certainly hope so.
Jonah Baldwin: Will she scratch up your back?
Sam Baldwin: [shocked] What?
Jonah Baldwin: In the movies, women are always scratching up the men's back and screaming and stuff when they're having sex.
Sam Baldwin: How do you know all this?
Jonah Baldwin: Jed's got cable.
Sam Baldwin: Oh.

Sam Baldwin: I'll tell you what I'm doing this weekend, I'm getting laid. It's the 1990's and nobody's getting laid. I'm the only man in America who's getting laid this weekend and I haven't been laid that much. Six girls in college, maybe seven.
[sees Jonah standing in the doorway]
Sam Baldwin: How long have you been standing there?
Jonah Baldwin: Forever.
Sam Baldwin: What did you just hear me say?
Jonah Baldwin: Six girls in college, maybe seven.
Sam Baldwin: Seven... EIGHT! Mary Kelly.

Sam, It's nice to meet you.

Annie Reed

Dennis Reed: It rains nine months a year in Seattle.
Annie Reed: I know!

Annie, when you're attracted to someone, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match.

Dennis Reed

[looking at a photograph] She looks like my third grade teacher, and I hated my third grade teacher... wait a minute, she IS my third grade teacher!

Sam Baldwin

Annie: I don't deserve you.
Walter: Well, I wouldn't put it that way, but... okay.

So, how's my butt?

Sam Baldwin

Sam Baldwin: Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
Jonah Baldwin: You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin: Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me. It scared the shit out of every man in America.

Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it.

Walter

When a man is a widower why do we say he was widowed? Why don't we say he was widowered?

Annie Reed

Jessica: I am telling them you're twelve so you can fly unaccompanied and the stewardess won't carry you around and stuff like that.
Jonah Baldwin: Are you crazy! Who'd believe I'm twelve?
Jessica: If it's in the computer, they believe anything.
Jonah Baldwin: Are you sure?
Jessica: Do you want me to say that you are really really short for your age and they shouldn't say anything because it would hurt your feelings.
Jonah Baldwin: Yea, that's a great idea!

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Sleepless in Seattle Quotes

Destiny is something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.

Annie Reed

Thanks for dinner. I've never seen potatoes cooked like that before.

Jonah Baldwin