Am I really dying?

Bill

Hugo Croop: I'm very sorry.
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Are you a collasal fuckin idiot?
Hugo Croop: I am idiot.
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Get the phone, it's probably Mecklin. Get Fatolli up here and start cleaning all right? and please for me will you do one thing?
[Does card trick putting a card on Hugo's forehead]
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Get out of my fucking sight.

Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Cinnamon roll? the cinnamon, the roll of the cinnamon. That looks like jizz... ya Eastern European jizz, that looks like some fuckhead shot his load on a 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. The twist? Its my $12,000 calf skin jacket. So ya got the semen, okay you got the human ejaculate ... [checks watch] ... thats been allowed to soak in for like seven hours alright. Work its way into the fabric fuckin fibers...
Hugo Croop: If you like I send out?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: To what? Incinerate? Hugo there isn't a fuckin laundry detergent or dry cleaning product known to man that will get that clean. Some shit, suffice it to say, just don't wash out.
Hugo Croop: Do you want an apology?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Only if you really truly mean it.

Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Will you tell me what that is?
Hugo Croop: About what?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Look at the coller on that coat... whats that look like, that stain?
Hugo Croop: I dunno... Cinnamon roll?

Richard Messner: You said someone came up to you as an FBI agent?
Pimply Casino Employee: Yeah?
Richard Messner: And then you saw him get on the elevator wearing a security guard outfit?
Pimply Casino Employee: Yeah?
Richard Messner: And THAT doesn't seem odd to you?

[impersonating the dead butler's voice] My name is Vitolli, how can I be of assistance?

Lazlo Soot

[manipulating Dupree's mouth so Jack seems to be speaking to him] Don't worry, I forgive you Darwin.

Darwin Tremor

Georgia Sykes: [an elevator opens to reveal Georgia, in a hooker get-up, to the Tremor brothers] I'm going down.
Darwin Tremor: Yeah, I bet you are.
Georgia Sykes: Faggot-ass redneck.

You're looking at me like, like... I just asked you the fucking square root of something.

Buddy 'Aces' Israel

The ho train has left the station.

Sharice Watters

Sometimes, fate just... fate just up-and-fucks you for no good reason. That the way'a the world! The way it's always gonna be. Alright then, peace bro.

Darwin Tremor

My boy Dale is at the Reno Correctional Facility. He's got some clarity issues. Did some home invasion, sodomy-torture type stuff; wrote a lot of bad checks.

Margie Turlock

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Smokin' Aces Quotes

[impersonating the dead butler's voice] My name is Vitolli, how can I be of assistance?

Lazlo Soot

Damn girl, you just went from Beyoncé to Bigfoot in less than 6 hours.

Bernard "Beanie" Alfonso