Sometimes, fate just... fate just up-and-fucks you for no good reason. That the way'a the world! The way it's always gonna be. Alright then, peace bro.

Darwin Tremor

You want a piece of me? I feel like you're eyeballin' me, dawg!

Warren

Thanks God, A dog pile of piss poor physique on top of a small cock and hereditary alcoholism, I appreciate it ... I'm babbling. I do that drunk.

Rip Reed

Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Cinnamon roll? the cinnamon, the roll of the cinnamon. That looks like jizz... ya Eastern European jizz, that looks like some fuckhead shot his load on a 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. The twist? Its my $12,000 calf skin jacket. So ya got the semen, okay you got the human ejaculate ... [checks watch] ... thats been allowed to soak in for like seven hours alright. Work its way into the fabric fuckin fibers...
Hugo Croop: If you like I send out?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: To what? Incinerate? Hugo there isn't a fuckin laundry detergent or dry cleaning product known to man that will get that clean. Some shit, suffice it to say, just don't wash out.
Hugo Croop: Do you want an apology?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Only if you really truly mean it.

Bernard "Beanie" Alfonso: Damnit! I didn't realize how fucked up I was till I just saw your ass, girl. You went from Beyonce to Bigfoot in less than 6 fucking hours!
Hooker: Fuck you, pussy!
Bernard "Beanie" Alfonso: Hey! We did that dance, bitch!

Damn girl, you just went from Beyoncé to Bigfoot in less than 6 hours.

Bernard "Beanie" Alfonso

Jack Dupree: So I take it you're not going?
Hollis Elmore: No, no. I'm going to Kentucky to take Fort Knox with a fucking slingshot, and then I'm going to hell after Hitler.
"Pistol" Pete Deeks: Would you please find your fangs! You fucking coward. What is wrong with you?
[Hollis shows him the middle finger]
"Pistol" Pete Deeks: Seriously, what is wrong with you?

Hollis Elmore: You shot me, and you murdered my friends... and you dumped us in the lake.
Darwin Tremor: Pretty much.

Rip Reed: Hey man. That's not yours.
"Pistol" Pete Deeks: [to Hollis] Put the fucking rabbit down!
Rip Reed: Appreciate it man, get your dick beaters off it.

[manipulating Dupree's mouth so Jack seems to be speaking to him] Don't worry, I forgive you Darwin.

Darwin Tremor

[impersonating the dead butler's voice] My name is Vitolli, how can I be of assistance?

Lazlo Soot

Sir Ivy: You see... this is one of the rare moments, where your ass gets to be completely honest... and if i'm asking you what you said to Mecklen, assume the shit is rhetorical, assume I already know.
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: What do you see right now? You see exactly, and only what I choose to show you. That is illusion Ivy, that is the lie that I tell your eyes, makin' the magic happen, in the moment, in that split second... but seeing behind this motherfucker and knowing... that it's all bullshit.
Sir Ivy: Yeah, you on some bullshit.

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Smokin' Aces Quotes

[impersonating the dead butler's voice] My name is Vitolli, how can I be of assistance?

Lazlo Soot

Damn girl, you just went from Beyoncé to Bigfoot in less than 6 hours.

Bernard "Beanie" Alfonso