Harry: [as Eric tries to call the cops, believing he is an intruder] You don't understand... I'm dating your daughter!
Erica Barry: Oh my God! You're dating my daughter?
Harry: Now who would have thought that was worse news?

Marin: Harry was once engaged to Diane Sawyer.
Zoe: Diane Sawyer? No way, I love her!
Erica Barry: That's wonderful!
Harry: Women your age love that about me.
Erica Barry: Ah.
Harry: No, that's a good thing.
Erica Barry: I'm sure you meant it as a compliment.
Harry: Yes, it was meant as a compliment.

Harry: Where's Julian?
Erica: He's back at the hotel. He said when he saw me with you, he knew I was still in love with you... what do you have to say about that?
Harry: If... if it's true, my life just got made.

[on her play] It's about a divorced woman, a writer. She's this high-strung, over-amped, controlling, know-it-all neurotic. [everyone stares in silence] ... who's incredibly cute, and lovable!

Erica Barry

Harry: I don't think I've ever had this effect on a woman before.
Erica Barry: What effect do you think you're having on me?
Harry: I don't quite recognize it. That's how I know I never had it before.

Harry: Oh. Her. She is a major piece of work. Doc, the woman wears turtlenecks in the middle of summer: she's beyond uptight. Almost makes her fun to be around.
Julian Mercer: Uptight. That's funny, I haven't noticed that.
Harry: Try living with her.

[offering a bouquet] These are for you to give me when you apologize.

Julian Mercer

Harry, your heart attack could be the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Erica Barry

When something happens to you that hasn't happened before, don't you at least have to find out what it is?

Julian Mercer

Erica Barry: Ahh!
Harry: [Seeing Erica] Oh!! Oh.
Erica Barry: No! STOP!
Harry: OH! OOH!
Erica Barry: [hides behind door] AAHH! STOP!
Harry: [covers his eyes] Oh, I'm sorry! Oh, God... am I sorry.
Harry: I'm sorry! I didn't see anything... Just your tits.

This is really fascinating, what's going on at this table. Let's take you and Erica. You've been around the block a few times. What are you, around 60? 63. Fantastic! Never married, which as we know, if you were a woman, would be a curse. You'd be an old maid, a spinster. Blah, blah, blah. So instead of pitying you, they write an article about you. Celebrate your never marrying. You're elusive and un-getable, a real catch. Then, there's my gorgeous sister here. Look at her. She is so accomplished. Most successful female playwright since who? Lillian Hellmann? She's over 50, divorced, and she sits in night after night after night because available guys her age want something - forgive me, they want somebody that looks like Marin. The over-50 dating scene is geared towards men leaving older women out. And as a result, the women become more and more productive and therefore, more and more interesting. Which, in turn, makes them even less desirable because as we all know, men - especially older men - are threatened and afraid of productive, interesting women. It is just so clear! Single older women as a demographic are about as fucked a group as can ever exist.


Julian Mercer: You really are a very sexy woman.
Erica Barry: No, really, I swear to God, I'm NOT!

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Something's Gotta Give Quotes

Harry: I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.
Erica Barry: The truth doesn't have versions, okay?

Julian Mercer: I knew you'd smell good.
Erica: It's just... soap.