Julian Mercer: Look who's answering the door!
Harry Sanborn: Look who's at the door!

Harry Sanborn: I think I'm entering into another phase with this thing. I'm mad at you.
Erica Barry: I think I'm mad at you too.
Harry Sanborn: Good, because I don't LIKE thinking about you all the time and worrying about how you are...
Erica Barry: You... worry about ME?
Harry Sanborn: Yes, honey. The schmuck, who deserves to die, worries about you. Sometimes worrying about you feels like a full-time job.
Erica Barry: Well I'm doing just fine, so you don't have to work that shift anymore!

Harry Sanborn: I love ya.
Erica Barry: Well, I love you too! If that's what you said. I don't know if it ends in a 'ya' if it's a true 'I love you.'
Harry Sanborn: You're not like anybody.

Erica Barry: I do like sex!
Harry Sanborn: You certainly do.

Erica Barry: You know what, Harry. If it's all right with you, I'd like to be friends.
Harry Sanborn: Friends? I'm not ready to be your friend!
Erica Barry: Fine, I understand.
Harry Sanborn: And anyway, do you really buy that horse shit that a man and a woman can be friends after they've had sex?
Erica Barry: I'm friends with my ex-husband but then again, we didn't just have sex.
Harry Sanborn: We didn't just have sex either.
Erica Barry: Then what was it? I'd love to know.
Harry Sanborn: Can I e-mail it to you when I figure it out?

Julian Mercer: Me too.
Erica Barry: If I were writing this, this is where I would write "an awkward moment."
Harry Sanborn: Honey, if you were writing this, I'd be dead!

Julian Mercer: The woman is really very brilliant, but she cannot hold her liquor.
Erica Barry: I like that about me.
Julian Mercer & Harry Sanborn: Me too.

Must we go through this every time? Come here.

Julian Mercer

Schmucks are people too.


Harry: I've never seen a woman her age naked before.
Julian Mercer: You're kidding.
Harry: Hey! We're not all doctors, baby.

Harry: I just have one question: What's with the turtlenecks? I mean it's the middle of summer.
Erica: Well, I guess I'm just a turtleneck kind of gal.
Harry: You never get hot?
Erica: No.
Harry: Never?
Erica: Not lately.

Julian Mercer: You really are a very sexy woman.
Erica Barry: No, really, I swear to God, I'm NOT!

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Something's Gotta Give Quotes

Harry: I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.
Erica Barry: The truth doesn't have versions, okay?

Julian Mercer: I knew you'd smell good.
Erica: It's just... soap.