Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Cartman: Jew?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!

Chef: Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
General: I don't listen to hip-hop.

Sheila Broflovski: What the heck is a rimjob?
Mrs. Cartman: Why, that's where you put your legs behind your head and let someone lick your ass.

Cartman: Mom? If you were in a German "scheisse" video, you... you'd tell me, right?
[short pause]
Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon.

Mr. Mackey: I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay?
Kyle: Nowhere.
Stan: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before.
Mr. Mackey: Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker."

Stan: We're "La Resistance," we want to save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war and stuff.
The Mole: I can't help you. I'm grounded in my room for the next three days.
Kyle: So are we. Our parents think we're home right now.
Stan: Why are you grounded?
The Mole: Why? Because God hates me, that's why. He has made my life miserable. So I call him a cock-sucking asshole, and I get grounded.

See, it doesn't hurt anyone! Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Cartman

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?

Stan

...I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Mr. Garrison

[singing] The sun is shining and the grass is green. / Under the three feet of snow, I mean.

Stan

Eric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.

Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch.

Terrence

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South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut Quotes

Eric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?

Stan