Remember what the MPAA says; Horrific, Deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don't say any naughty woids! That's what this war is all about!

Sheila Broflovski

Cartman: Kyle, all those times I called you a stupid Jew, I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew.
Kyle: Yes I am, Cartman! I *am* a Jew!
Cartman: No, no, don't be so hard on yourself.

Kyle: Dude, that movie was fucking sweet!
Cartman: You bet your fuckin' ass it was!
Stan: Fuck, dude, I wanna be just like Terrence and Phillip!

Stan: Listen Mr. homeless man, if you don't wanna buy us the tickets and not get your ten bucks and not buy yourself a bottle of vodka, then be my guest.
Homeless man: Six tickets please!

You are all just a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers!

Kyle

The day is mine!

Satan

Is Terrance and Philip affecting America's youth? Here with that report is a midget in a bikini.

Newscaster

American Representative: Fuck Canada!
Canadian Representative: Hey fuck you buddy!

Mr. Mackey: I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay?
Kyle: Nowhere.
Stan: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before.
Mr. Mackey: Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker."

Wow, I guess you can light a fart on fire, huh?

Cartman

What do you think this is kid? T.V. kiddie hour where we all stand around and lick Barney the dinosaur fucking pussy?

The Mole

Kyle: Get out of here, Ike. You're too young for this stuff.
Ike: Bullshit.

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South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut Quotes

Eric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?

Stan