Stan: Listen Mr. homeless man, if you don't wanna buy us the tickets and not get your ten bucks and not buy yourself a bottle of vodka, then be my guest.
Homeless man: Six tickets please!

You are all just a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers!


The day is mine!


Is Terrance and Philip affecting America's youth? Here with that report is a midget in a bikini.


American Representative: Fuck Canada!
Canadian Representative: Hey fuck you buddy!

Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch.


Mr. Mackey: I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay?
Kyle: Nowhere.
Stan: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before.
Mr. Mackey: Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker."

Stan: Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Kyle: The what?
Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?

Wow, I guess you can light a fart on fire, huh?


What do you think this is kid? T.V. kiddie hour where we all stand around and lick Barney the dinosaur fucking pussy?

The Mole

Kyle: Get out of here, Ike. You're too young for this stuff.
Ike: Bullshit.

Sheila Broflovski: ...if it's war they want, it's war they'll have!
Cartman: This is fucking weak..

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South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut Quotes

Eric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?