Sheila Broflovski: ...if it's war they want, it's war they'll have!
Cartman: This is fucking weak..

Kyle: You cant die! We don't know where we are!
The Mole: You must go on...
Kyle: No, we have no fucking clue where we are!

Kyle: WUUUUaaahh! WUUUaaaaahhhhh!
Soldier: Hey, you hear that? Sounds like a giraffe's dying over there!

Hey Satan, I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. Let's fuck to celebrate.

Saddam Hussein

Satan: You have spilled the blood of the innocent. Now begins two million years of Darkness.
Chef: Oh, good job Mrs. Broslofski. Thanks a lot!

Stan: We're "La Resistance," we want to save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war and stuff.
The Mole: I can't help you. I'm grounded in my room for the next three days.
Kyle: So are we. Our parents think we're home right now.
Stan: Why are you grounded?
The Mole: Why? Because God hates me, that's why. He has made my life miserable. So I call him a cock-sucking asshole, and I get grounded.

Stan: Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy?
Chef: Oh, that's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris.
Stan: Huh?
Chef: Whoops.

[singing] There's a bunch of birds in the sky. And some deers just went running by.

Stan

...I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Mr. Garrison

Eric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.

Satan: Is sex the only thing that matters to you?
Saddam Hussein: I love you.

Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?

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South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut Quotes

Eric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?

Stan