I can't wait to take leave so I can get me some fucking poontang.

Mr. Garrison

Stan: What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? / He'd make a plan and follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Kyle: When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the Gold, / he did two salchows and a triple lutz while wearing a blindfold!
Cartman: When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting grizzly bears / he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair!
Stan, Kyle: So what would Brian Boitano do if he were here today? / I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Cartman: I want this V-chip out of me. / It has stunted my vocabulary.
Kyle: And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone.
Stan: For Wendy I'll be an activist too, / 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: And what would Brian Boitano do? He'd call all the kids in town / and tell them to unite for truth, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
[intermission]
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: When Brian Boitano traveled through time to the year 3010, / he fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again!
Cartman: And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids he beat up Kublai Khan!
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from anybody! / So let's call all the kids together / and unite to stop our moms. / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! / 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

Stan: Wait, before we put a message out, do a search on the word clitoris.
Kyle: Hmm OK Found: 8,000,000 pages found with the word clitoris.

But this is going to be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada.

Stan

Kyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman.
Cartman: Let's see, hmm, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy.
Kyle: Fine! Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy!

Saddam Hussein: What the *fuck* are you talking about?
Satan: You treat me like shit, Saddam! I'm leaving you!
Saddam Hussein: What? No? No! You can't do that! I have to go to Earth!
Satan: You don't even have any respect for me.
Saddam Hussein: Sure I do, guy, please, just hear me out

Chef: Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
General: I don't listen to hip-hop.

Cartman: It was the Terrence & Phillip movie.
Kyle: Dude!
Cartman: What? Fuck you guys. I wanna get out of here.

Cartman: Mom? If you were in a German "scheisse" video, you... you'd tell me, right?
[short pause]
Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon.

That movie has warped my fragile little mind.

Cartman

[singing] The sun is shining and the grass is green. / Under the three feet of snow, I mean.

Stan

This is worse than the time when I fell asleep and you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture.

Terrence

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South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut Quotes

Eric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?

Stan