I hate you Kenny.

Eric Cartman

Sheila Broflovski: What the heck is a rimjob?
Mrs. Cartman: Why, that's where you put your legs behind your head and let someone lick your ass.

See, it doesn't hurt anyone! Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Cartman

Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Cartman: Jew?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?

Stan

Billy Baldwin: [answers the phone] Baldwin residence. No, this is Billy Baldwin. If you want Daniel Baldwin call his extension, stupid!
[hangs up the phone]
Billy Baldwin: Hey Alec, you know what sucks about being a Baldwin?
Alec Baldwin: No, what?
Billy Baldwin: Nothing!

Brian Dennehy: Did someone say my name?
Stan: Who are you?
Brian Dennehy: I'm Brian Dennehy.
Kyle: What? No, not fuckin' Brian Dennehy!
Stan: Get the fuck out of here!
Brian Dennehy: Oh. Bye.

Terrence: Well, Phillip, I hope you've learned something from this whole experience.
Phillip: I sure have, Terrance. I've learned that you are a boner-biting, dick-fart, fuck face.
Terrence: [they laugh] Wanna see the northern lights?
[strikes a match, farts, burns up]
Phillip: Ha ha ha. You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart. Ha ha ha.
Terrence: I sure did, Philip!

Cartman: I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him a hundred dollars.
Kyle: It's not your fault, Cartman.
Cartman: Dude, I know, I'm just fuckin' stoked I don't have to pay him.
Kyle: Oh, that's real nice! He was your friend, you fat fuck!

Terrence: You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip!
Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker?
Terrence: Well, let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs.
Phillip: Oh yeah!

Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?

Satan: Is sex the only thing that matters to you?
Saddam Hussein: I love you.

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South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut Quotes

Eric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?

Stan