So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

Dark Helmet

Oh, my God. It's Mega Maid. She's gone from suck to blow.

Colonel Sandurz

Lone Starr: A million? That's unfair.
Pizza the Hutt: Unfair to payor but not to payee. But you're gonna pay it, or else!
Barf: Or else what?
Pizza the Hutt: Tell him, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Or else pizza is gonna send out for *you*!

It's not that we're afraid, far from it, it's just that we've got this thing about death... It's not us!

Barf

Did I miss something? When did we get to Disneyland?

Lone Starr

Yogurt! Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with Strawberries.

Dark Helmet

So, Lord Helmet, at last we meet again for the first time for the last time.

Lone Starr

So the combination is one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

Dark Helmet

WHAT? You went over my helmet?

Dark Helmet

I bet she gives great helmet.

Dark Helmet

Lone Starr: I still don't understand how I'm going to lift that big statue with this little ring.
Yogurt: Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!

Princess Vespa: I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.
Lone Starr: Oh great. That's all we needed. A Druish princess.
Barf: Funny, she doesn't look Druish.

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Spaceballs Quotes

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

So the combination is one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

Dark Helmet