Deborah Clasky: [upon hearing John's car pull into the driveway] Do I need to put on make-up?
Evelyn Norwich: You need a hose, but we don't have that kinda time.

[after hearing that his wife's been cheating on him] I couldn't hear you. There was a crack in the planet. WOW... that was noisy!

John Clasky

Worrying about your kids is sanity, and being that sane... can drive you nuts

John Clasky

Flor Moreno: I, uh... don't think you should either.
John Clasky: Then excuse me, because if I had the equipment I'd inject the vodka.

Deborah Clasky: Are you that much nicer than me?
John Clasky: You didn't set the bar that high.

John Clasky: Just do it or I'll light my hair on fire and start punching myself in the face!
[Walks away, reconsiders]
John Clasky: That probably wasn't the best way to get make myself clear, was it?

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Spanglish Quotes

[after hearing that his wife's been cheating on him] I couldn't hear you. There was a crack in the planet. WOW... that was noisy!

John Clasky

Deborah Clasky: Are you that much nicer than me?
John Clasky: You didn't set the bar that high.