Kevin: Well, you're all I think about.
Leslie: Me?
Kevin: And I think the reason I'm not interested in other women, and why I haven't had sex in so long, is because I'm desperately, completely in love with you.

Never trust a woman who says she isn't angry.


It ain't a party 'til something gets broken.


Kirby: I understand the fold, but what's fluff?
Kevin: Fluff's what I write for the paper.

You break my heart. Then again, you break everyone's heart.


Leslie: How's Howie?
Wendy: Oh well, I wouldn't say my father's trying to bribe me, but he did offer me a Chrysler Lebaron convertible if I get engaged to Howie.
Jules: Have you fucked him yet?
Wendy: Jules!... God.
Jules: Listen... get the car, fuck him, and if you don't like him, break the engagement... And then you can still fuck him.

So you lost your job? I've lost 20 since graduation. Plus a wife and kid. And, in a new development this morning, a handful of hair in the shower drain.


I should have had a vasectomy at birth! Let me tell you something Al, you ever have boys, do them a favor and get them neutered straight away. If they ever knock up some little slut, they're the ones who're fucked! Fucked for life! I hate you, you little bitch!


Leslie: Alec is becoming a Republican... and he wants to get married! Oh, my God!
Jules: I always knew he was a Republican!

Kirby: Why do they put ice in the urinals?
Kevin: It tastes better.
Kirby: Bah Dum bum ching.

You know Jules, there is the brink of insanity and then there is the abyss, which obviously you have fallen into!


Jules: I thought you were taking steps to phase out everything that wasn't working in your life.
Wendy: That doesn't leave much.

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St. Elmo's Fire Quotes

Fluff and fold, buddy. Soon as I make it really big, I'm going fluff and fold.


Alec: You're being arrested for drunk driving.
Billy: Drunk definitely, I don't know if you could call it driving