Kirby: There are several quintessential moments in a man's life: losing his virginity, getting married, becoming a father, and having the right girl smile at you.

No diet works. The only way to lose weight in the thighs is amputation.


Jules: I thought you were taking steps to phase out everything that wasn't working in your life.
Wendy: That doesn't leave much.

You know Jules, there is the brink of insanity and then there is the abyss, which obviously you have fallen into!


Kirby: Why do they put ice in the urinals?
Kevin: It tastes better.
Kirby: Bah Dum bum ching.

Leslie: Alec is becoming a Republican... and he wants to get married! Oh, my God!
Jules: I always knew he was a Republican!

I should have had a vasectomy at birth! Let me tell you something Al, you ever have boys, do them a favor and get them neutered straight away. If they ever knock up some little slut, they're the ones who're fucked! Fucked for life! I hate you, you little bitch!


So you lost your job? I've lost 20 since graduation. Plus a wife and kid. And, in a new development this morning, a handful of hair in the shower drain.


Leslie: How's Howie?
Wendy: Oh well, I wouldn't say my father's trying to bribe me, but he did offer me a Chrysler Lebaron convertible if I get engaged to Howie.
Jules: Have you fucked him yet?
Wendy: Jules!... God.
Jules: Listen... get the car, fuck him, and if you don't like him, break the engagement... And then you can still fuck him.

Kirby: I understand the fold, but what's fluff?
Kevin: Fluff's what I write for the paper.

It ain't a party 'til something gets broken.


Kirby: You are just pissed off and bitter because you have not had sex in... how long? What is it... a year... maybe two? Refresh my memory please, Kevin. Haven't you heard of the sexual revolution?
Kevin: Who won, huh? Nobody. Used to be sex was the only free thing, No longer. Alimony... palimony... it's all financial. Love is an illusion.
Kirby: It's the only illusion that counts, my friend.
Kevin: Says who?
Kirby: Anyone who's been in love.
Kevin: Love sucks.
Kirby: So does your attitude.

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St. Elmo's Fire Quotes

Fluff and fold, buddy. Soon as I make it really big, I'm going fluff and fold.


Alec: You're being arrested for drunk driving.
Billy: Drunk definitely, I don't know if you could call it driving