Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, who do you pick?

Dale Doback

I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!

Brennan Huff

You better not close your eyes because as soon as you do I'm gonna punch you in the face!

Brennan Huff

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!

Brennan Huff

[after hearing Brennan sing] You have the voice of an angel. I mean, it's like Fergie meets Jesus.

Dale Doback

Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth.

Brennan Huff

You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck!

Brennan Huff

Dale: What are you doing?
Brennan: I'm burying you!
Dale: My dad will wonder where I am.

[as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We're here to fuck shit up!

Dale Doback

[in his therapist's fantasy] I've come five hundred miles to deliver my seed.

Brennan Huff

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Step Brothers Quotes

Brennan Huff: This house is a prison!
Dale Doback: On planet bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of this sucks camel dick!

I'm so scared right now. I'm just gonna to do what's sensible, I'm gonna file for unemployment. Then I'm gonna try to get a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, because they got an excellent corporate structure and they... *they* give *you* the tools to be your own boss.

Brennan Huff