Tito Puente's gonna be dead, and you're gonna say, "Oh, I've been listening to him for years, and I think he's fabulous."

John Winger

John Winger: Why'd the chicken cross the road?
Soldiers: To get from the left to the right
John Winger: He stepped out of rank, got hit by a tank
Soldiers: He ain't no chicken no more

Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals?
John Winger: You mean like flaming? Or part time?
Recruiter: Well, it's a question we have to ask of all our new recruits.
Russell Ziskey: No, we're not homosexual, but we are *willing to learn*.
John Winger: Yeah, would they send us someplace special?
Recruiter: I'll just put that as a 'no'.

You can't go. All the plants are gonna die.

John Winger

Russell Ziskey: John, do you think I'm officer material?
John Winger: God, I'm worried about you.
Russell Ziskey: Come on! I'm in good shape, I'm walking tall, I'm looking good. First weekend in Europe.
John Winger: Yeah. We're spending it in an airplane hangar... guarding a truck!
Russell Ziskey: We've got each other.

John Winger: C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like we're going into *Wisconsin*.
Russell Ziskey: Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!

Sergeant Hulka: I'm talking about something important, like discipline and duty and honor and courage. And you ain't got none of it!
John Winger: Those words mean so much to a man who scrubs garbage cans. Look, if you don't want me in your Army, kick me out, but get off my back.

General Barnicke: Where is your drill sergeant, men?
John Winger: Blown up sir.

General Barnicke: Where have you been soldier?
John Winger: Training, sir.
Soldiers: Training, sir.
General Barnicke: What kind of training?
John Winger: Army training, sir.
Soldiers: Army training, sir.

Don't order the Schnitzel, they're using Schnauzer.

John Winger

Oh, it's not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning.

John Winger

John Winger: I've had an interesting morning. In the last two hours I've lost my job, my apartment, my car, and my girlfriend.
Russell Ziskey: You still have your health.

Stripes is one of the best comedies of all-time. It stars Bill Murray and Harold Ramis.

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Stripes Quotes

You better hit those bunks my little babies, or Sergeant Hulka with the BIG TOE is gonna see how far he can stick it up your ass.

Sergeant Hulka

General Barnicke: Where is your drill sergeant, men?
John Winger: Blown up sir.