John Winger: C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like we're going into *Wisconsin*.
Russell Ziskey: Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!

Cruiser: I joined the army 'cause my father and my brother were in the army. I figured I better join before I got drafted.
Sergeant Hulka: Son, there ain't no draft no more.
Cruiser: There was one?

I've always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, "Never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it." I don't know what kind of soldier I'm gonna make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into really heavy combat... I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way.

Russell Ziskey

You better hit those bunks my little babies, or Sergeant Hulka with the BIG TOE is gonna see how far he can stick it up your ass.

Sergeant Hulka

We're so damned lost. Where the hell is Innsbruck, Austria?

John Winger

Sergeant Hulka: Men, welcome to the United States Army. I'm Sergeant Hulka. I'm your drill sergeant. Before we proceed any further, we gotta get something straight. Your mamas are not here to take care of you now. It's just you, me, and Uncle Sam. And before I leave you, you're gonna find out that me and Uncle Sam are one in the same.
John Winger: Uncle Hulka?

Sergeant, does this mean we're through for the day?

Dewey Oxburger

Sergeant Hulka: I'm talking about something important, like discipline and duty and honor and courage. And you ain't got none of it!
John Winger: Those words mean so much to a man who scrubs garbage cans. Look, if you don't want me in your Army, kick me out, but get off my back.

John Winger: Why'd the chicken cross the road?
Soldiers: To get from the left to the right
John Winger: He stepped out of rank, got hit by a tank
Soldiers: He ain't no chicken no more

Ma'am, I'm sure there are a lot of ways I've gone that you haven't.

John Winger

John Winger: My philosophy: a hundred-dollar shine on a three-dollar pair of boots.

Oh, it's not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning.

John Winger

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Stripes Quotes

You can't go. All the plants are gonna die.

John Winger

Tito Puente's gonna be dead, and you're gonna say, "Oh, I've been listening to him for years, and I think he's fabulous."

John Winger