Officer Slater: [talking to Fogell with Officer Michaels in the liquor store after a robbery] May we see your identification?
[Fogell uneasily hands over his fake I.D]
Officer Slater: McLovin?
[Fogell is really nervous]
Officer Slater: [pauses] That's a cool name, man.
Fogell: [amazed that his fake I.D. worked] Wha...
Officer Slater: Yeah, people have weird names nowadays. Once I pulled arrested this man-lady, and his legal first name was "Fuck".
Officer Michaels: He was Vietnamese, so it was probably spelled with a "ph", I dunno.

He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.

Seth

Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day want to live in.

Evan

Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law.

Officer Michaels

Fogell: What's it like to have a gun?
Officer Michaels: It's like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill someone.

Seth: Look at those nipples.
Evan: They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get.

You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.

Seth

I arrested a man-lady who was legally named Phuck.

Officer Slater

It's like a division sign.

Evan

Nobody has gotten a B.J. in cargo shorts since Vietnam!

Seth

[talking to Home Ec. Teacher] You know, Home Ec. is a joke. Everyone takes it to just get an A. Not to disgrace your profession or anything. There's three weeks left in school, just give me a fucking break! I'm sorry for cursing.

Seth

There is a very good reason for why my fake I.D. says I'm 25 and not 21. Everyday hundreds of kids go to the liquor store with fake I.D.s that say they're 21. Just how many 21-year-olds are there in this town? It's called strategy.

Fogell

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Superbad Quotes

[imitating Becca] Oh Evan, thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. I never would've been able to handle your four inch dick inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube.

Seth

Seth: Look at those nipples.
Evan: They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get.