Calm down, calm down. She likes you. She wants to suck on your penis. That's a good thing.

Evan

Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: Your's would be too... if you were a man.

Seth: Its like a three thing... its like ball, dick, ball.
Evan: It's like a division sign... I just wish you would take those off.

Becca: [drunkenly making out with Evan] I *so* flirt with you in math.
Evan: Tell me about it. I - same-sies.

Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.

Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern.
Evan: I didn't realize that.

Ah, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin.

Officer Michaels

Liquor Store Clerk: Is there a problem here sir?
Fogell: [shakes head] No.
Liquor Store Clerk: [looks down at the spilled beer on the floor] Sir, did you do this?
Fogell: No, no I didn't and you should really clean this up, someone could really hurt themselves
[walks away]
Liquor Store Clerk: [looks down at the floor and shakes his head a little] Fuck my life

I'm sorry that I blocked your cock...

Officer Slater

Fogell: Can we shoot at it?
Officer Slater: I don't know...
[pause]
Officer Slater: Can you?

Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.

I don't know if we should be doing anything too official.

Evan

FREE Movie Newsletter

Superbad Quotes

I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream, "I love my best friend, Evan."

Seth

Officer Michaels: How old are you McLovin?
Fogell: Old enough.
Officer Michaels: Old enough for what?
Fogell: To party.